I have something to say

[leltPoige]

What are the most important things in life? What do the
proverbs, the wise sayings of man through the ages, have to say
on this point? Let us search them. If we did so we would come
up with the following list:

- the basic necessities (food and shelter)
- a good wife (or spouse)
- good health
- a good conscience
- a good name
- wisdom, understanding, good sense, spiritual knowledge,
understanding of ourselves and life

Now let us ask another question. What things are most commonly
pursued by man? What does the common, ordinary man pursue in
life? We can list them:

- temporary pleasure (gratification of appetites)
- material possessions, wealth
- social position, being "important"
- friendship, friends, acceptance by a group

When we ask the question "What are the important things in
life?" what we really mean is: "What things in life bring the
best happiness?" Both are just different ways of phrasing the
same question.

What a person pursues in life depends on what he values. His
values, basic tastes and preferences, determine his priorities
and the way he occupies himself and spends his time. The most
basic, underlying values of the wise man are Wisdom,
Understanding, Justice, Goodness, and Virtue. These are his
first loves. They are what drive him, determining his tastes
and preferences. The ordinary man, however, has as his first
love pleasure and the other things we have listed. He occupies
himself with the pursuit of Thrill and Temporary Pleasure. He
focuses on the temporary pleasures available to him through
catering to his base appetites. He spends his time in front of
a TV set watching programs that excite his fantasies and
provide him temporary thrills and erotic pleasure; he finds his
pleasure in eating, sex, gambling, coarse humor, alcohol and
drugs. The wise man, on the other hand, is driven by a
different set of tastes and preferences, likes and dislikes.
He is attracted to that which gives spiritual understanding.
He is interested in the serious questions of life and society.
He is interested in the problems of his fellow man. He is
interested in the dilemmas of life --- spiritual, moral,
economic, etc.. He is interested in spiritual and moral truth.
And he tends to prefer activities that aid him in these
interests -- that provide insight, knowledge, perspective,
etc.. He is likely to be a lover of reflection and also of
books.

What is wrong with the pursuits of the common man? The problem
with these pursuits is that most of them are illusory. They
don't give real happiness, or the best happiness. And many are
also destructive, destroying morally, spiritually and
physically.

The wise man, the man of understanding, knows there is a God
and he puts spiritual things first. He is a god-fearing person
who lives by God's moral law.

[leltPoige]

"How can I get 7-8 hours of sleep when I'm with my kids from the moment I arrive home, and I need some time for myself before bed?"
"How can I find time to exercise when I have to get up early in the morning and I'm exhausted by the time I get home in the evening?"
"How can I possibly keep up when I get 200 emails a day?"
"When is there time to think reflectively and strategically?"
These are the sorts of plaintive questions I'm asked over and over again when I give talks these days, whether they're at companies, conferences, schools, hospitals or government agencies.
Most everyone I meet feels pulled in more directions than ever, expected to work longer hours, and asked to get more done, often with fewer resources. But in these same audiences, there are also, invariably, a handful of people who are getting things done, including the important stuff, and somehow still managing to have a life.
What have they figured out that the rest of their colleagues have not?
The answer, surprisingly, is not that they have more will or discipline than you do. The counterintuitive secret to getting things done is to make them more automatic, so they require less energy.
It turns out we each have one reservoir of will and discipline, and it gets progressively depleted by any act of conscious self-regulation. In other words, if you spend energy trying to resist a fragrant chocolate chip cookie, you'll have less energy left over to solve a difficult problem. Will and discipline decline inexorably as the day wears on.
"Acts of choice," the brilliant researcher Roy Baumeister and his colleagues have concluded, "draw on the same limited resource used for self-control." That's especially so in a world filled more than ever with potential temptations, distractions and sources of immediate gratification.
At the Energy Project, we help our clients develop something we call rituals — highly specific behaviors, done at precise times, so they eventually become automatic and no longer require conscious will or discipline.
The proper role for your pre-frontal cortex is to decide what behavior you want to change, design the ritual you'll undertake, and then get out of the way. "It is a profoundly erroneous truism that we should cultivate the habit of thinking of what we are doing," the philosopher A.N. Whitehead explained back in 1911. "The precise opposite is the case. Civilization advances by extending the number of operations we can perform without thinking about them."
Indeed many great performers aren't even consciously aware that's what they've done. They've built their rituals intuitively.
Over the past decade, I've built a series of rituals into my everyday life, in order to assure that I get to the things that are most important to me — and that I don't get derailed by the endlessly alluring trivia of everyday life.
Here are the five rituals that have made the biggest difference to me:
Abiding by a specific bedtime to ensure that I get 8 hours of sleep. Nothing is more critical to the way I feel every day. If I'm flying somewhere and know I'll arrive too late to get my 8 hours, I make it a priority to make up the hours I need on the plane.
Work out as soon as I wake up. I've long since learned it has a huge impact all day long on how I feel, even if I don't initially feel like doing it.
Launching my work day by focusing first on whatever I've decided the night before is the most important activity I can do that day. Then taking a break after 90 minutes to refuel. Today — which happens to be a Sunday — this blog was my priority. My break was playing tennis for an hour. During the week it might be just to breathe for five minutes, or get something to eat.
Immediately writing down on a list any idea or task that occurs to me over the course of the day. Once it's on paper, it means I don't walk around feeling preoccupied by it — or risk forgetting it.
Asking myself the following question any time I feel triggered by someone or something,: "What's the story I'm telling myself here and how could I tell a more hopeful and empowering story about this same set of facts?"
Obviously, I'm human and fallible, so I don't succeed at every one of these, every day. But when I do miss one, I pay the price, and I feel even more pulled to it the next day.
A ritual, consciously created, is an expression of fierce intentionality. Nothing less will do, if you're truly determined to take control of your life.

[leltPoige]

Whether you are a teacher, parent, relative, boss, or fellow community member, each of us has a chance to make a positive and impactful difference in a child’s life.
But in order to do this, we must carefully consider this question:
What do you think matters most to our children?
For 20 years I have been posing this question to my students. At the beginning of every school year, I would ask my students to give me advice on how to be their best teacher. I asked them to think about the times they felt most successful and to consider what the adults in their lives did to make this success possible.
The classroom would become immediately silent as the students wrote intensely for longer than they had ever written before. Smiles would appear on their faces as they reflected on the happy experiences they were remembering. After reading their responses I would add to my list all the ideas they mentioned.
Surprisingly, many of the responses were the same. Year after year, in every grade level, content area and classroom I was in, regardless of demographics or background, students were saying the same things and had the same message: It’s the small things you do that mean the most. That is what they remembered. That is what mattered.
Here is a list of the 12 Most Important things that came out of these amazing conversations.:
1. Greet me each day
Wish me good morning, and send me off with a “see ya tomorrow.”
2. Smile
When you look at me, let me see happiness in your eyes.
3. Give me your attention
Sit and talk with me privately; even if only for a second.
4. Imagine with me
Help me dream of things I might be able to do; not just the things I need to do now.
5. Give me challenging content and assignments
Show me how to handle it. Teach me what to do.
6. Ask about me
Inquire about my weekend, the game a played, the places I go. It shows you care about my life.
7. Let me have time
Time to let things sink in. Time to think. Time to reflect, process, and play.
8. Demand of me
Hold me accountable to high standards. Don’t let me get away with what you know I am capable of doing better.
9. Notice Me
Leave special messages in my desk or locker. Just a quick not that says you notice something right.
10. Let me ask the questions
Even if they are off topic. It will show that I am thinking about new perspectives, curious, and willing to learn more. Let me have the chance to show what I am wondering about, not just what I know.
11. Engage me
I came to you in love with learning, keep me excited, keep me wanting more.
12. Trust me
Believe that I can do it. Allow me the chance. I promise to show you I can.
These words did not fall on deaf ears. I collected them, honored them, and then promised I would do everything within my power to be the teacher they needed.
What matters to the children in your life? It’s worth a conversation, I promise!